I am trying…everyday.

Hello my love,

I did some thinking today and what I wanted to say was that I am trying.

I am trying to step back and let Jesus take that steering wheel away from me eventhough I wanted to take the shortest cut to get to you.

I am trying to get real with our Father of my emotions – that it gets hard sometimes, it gets lonely sometimes because there are days the enemy keeps lying that I am happier with you around. So I am trying to get so transparent with God just like how David was in the Psalms.

Because I am trying to uncover what is inside my heart. If there is anything I would like right now, it is that renewed and right Spirit within. The right peace that stems from loving Him even before you come.

At the same time I am trying to be careful not to wall my heart. Because sometimes I confuse guarding into walling this frail and deceitful heart.

What I am trying to say is that I also get tired of waiting.

But I am trying everyday.

It is a constant surrender of stepping back from the deck and letting the Captain of our souls do His specialty – His Lordship on our hearts, His Lordship in our being and His control of our everything.

So wherever you are, my love, I hope you also get tired of holding that steering wheel and let our Matchmaker set the sails for us.

He calls the shots. He even commands the waves. I hope you don’t forget the waters even tremble at His command.

Waiting with you,

Your love ?


(Psalms 51:10, Jeremiah 17:9, Psalms 77:16)

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